I’m in a dilemma. A stupid and shallow one actually.

I’ve started drawing fanart for the Philippine heroes about a year ago. It was triggered by my obsession with Hamilton, Hetalia and the newly released Heneral Luna movie. It was fun and I love doing it.

However, it is starting to hurt. I always portrayed them in happy situations, in the slice of life, a parody of themselves just to get the brighter side of their lives caught in my stupid chibis. Hey, I tried.

It was meant as a stress reliever. And there are so many ideas I wanted to do. Like the young heroes running away from a canon with crates of explosives on their arms, mischief abound. Or Manuel Tinio pushing a guardia civil off a canal for laughs. Or how the Bonifacio couple would spoil Emilio Jacinto and treating him like a son. Or how everyone always gathers to eat Gregoria de Jesus’ sinigang. And even how the Bonifacio toddlers walked after their big brother carrying medical kits and empty bullet shells for recycling. Or Macario Sakay and his fabulous hair, while teaching Jacinto to do the same.

It was fun. And I love it. I still do.

But afterwards, after I colored it and post it, I can’t help but feel despair. There’s just so much emotions of helplessness, really.

I’ve caught myself tearing up everytime I think of how a lost wife was looking for her husband’s body for three days. Only to be presented, years later, with skull and bones. With all the media, camera flashing, microphone on set, asking her if it was really ‘him’.

Or how a young man, forced to flee the country after his whole family was declared as traitors, and his older brothers killed by the revolution they all sacrificed and believed in. And now, he’s alone in a foreign country, vowing not to come back, knowing if ever he did, he can’t promise not take the lives of his brother’s killers.

Or how a bestfriend grieved after receiving the news of his brother-at-arm and mentor’s death…at the hands of a man that shares his very own name.

We don’t deserve them.



i made something for Bonifacio’s day, but it took me awhile to get it ready :’] anyway, this was just for fun and not for educational purposes. lol. making this, made me depressed, really. T v T rereading about Bonifacio was like dissecting a hope of what-ifs of our failed history.

gumuhit at gumunita


“the world doesn’t care what eyes you want to see it”



I went back to school. a post-college degree. I haven’t talked about it because it felt like all the people that needed to know, already knew about it.

Like Turow, it amazed me how easy it was for me to assume that I was “somewhat less intelligent than anyone around me.” Never had I felt being stupid to this degree that I am questioning my scholastic performance since high school.

There is hardly any time to sleep, even to draw is a sinful escape from studying. Escapism aside, there seems to be not enough time to read and study all the cases, annotations, legal arguments, and stuff that seems to pop out of nowhere. I’m also relearning English but in a seemingly different language that has its own syntax and vocabulary and punctuated with serious-sounding Latin and maxims. Failure is starting to seem brutally normal but unacceptable; being broke is a constant state that I can’t seem to get out of. And yet, I still think I’ll do all right :’]

Okay, so I’m relearning photoshop. Tagal na din. Been rusting for years now with my pentab that hadn’t seen the light of day. Hayts.



I was trying again for some speed painting, but I can’t seem to get it right. Hopefully I could get at it during this holiday. The layers are killing me, as usual = . =Capture


Dati ko nang nasabi na di si Rizal o Bonifacio ang kailangan natin…mas nangangailangan tayo ng isang Mabini.
Kailangan natin ng mga tao’ng nasa posisyon na may alam, dahil sila ang may kakayahang magsalita at ipaglaban ang dapat ipaglaban hanggang sa kaya nila. ‘Yung tipong kahit may sakit na ‘yung tao at di na kayang maglakad ay magtratrabaho pa rin. ‘Yung tipong kahit ang dami ng duming itinatapon sa kanya (syphilis daw lol), ay siya pa ‘tong hihingi ng tawad dahil sa pagiging ‘maculit’ niya sa mga isyung ipinaglalaban niya. Ultimo karwahe ng punerarya ay rerentahan makadalo lang sa mga official events (hardcore ni mabini XD).
Ngunit mali pala ako.
Sa panahon ngayon, mas lalo lang pala siyang lulumpuhin kung nagkataon.
Kahapon, nakakuha ako ng commemorative five peso coin ni Mabini. Wala lang, matagal ko na kasing gusto makakuha n’on. And ano lang, napa-isip lang bigla. Sorry kung #random