I had never been low-key about my fascination with history.
It all started early really. In high school I liked nothing more than to read about the overlapping Greeks & Romans, and Norse Mythology. I was quite amazed that so few people knew about them, especially the Norse. Still, I’ve dedicated so much effort (the references sucks…big time. Even internet failed me from time to time) just to get their story straight that every time I find someone who knew about them, I automatically latched on the said person and never let go.
It only follows that I’ll end up knowing about the the Roman Empire’s history along the way, and if you find yourself even slightly remotely obsessed with Rome, you’ll end up knowing practically all of the other country’s history (or bits and pieces of it along the line). So I ended up being quite exposed with this subject. My love for anime fueled it more (Hetalia). Add Hamilton. And well, you have what you call a very confused person with lot’s of insignificant useless information and trivia that is not necessary for her day-to-day survival, lol.
On a side note, I also liked talking about Mongols. They’re fucking badass, if only they didn’t left a trail of blood [and babies] on their wake (which happens to be the bulk of what was known to them, in my opinion). I could also blame the manhua ‘Threads of Time’ for this. Sali Tayi made me confused. I don’t know if I like the guy or loathe his guts. Guess it’s love, then. I even made a fanart of him back on 2012, (link to deviantart…the description makes me feel dead. Dammit.).
(*sign. I feel like no one knows about this series…just like Legend of Sun Knight. Hayts.)
Anyway, back to history. Despite this, there was that moment in college when I felt inexcusably stupid in history – and guilt. And that’s because, I don’t know shit about Bicol history. Really, really shameful. But that’s actually redeemable so I reeducated myself and you know, I tried researching on Bicol MYTHOLOGY. Ahahahahahah. I had so much fun drawing stuff for that subject. Meeting people in ALA and DARTS (Kuya Pen!) made a lot of impact on me. Digging deeper, I started illustrating Hetalia-versions of the provinces of Bicol. (My thought process never changed, eh?)
However, I can’t do that without research, and just like what happened before, I ended up finding out a lot about the history of Bicol, and consequently Philippines. And that’s when I realized I know next to shit about Philippine history. It’s so weird. Our history textbook were practically a watered-down version of our complex and interesting story as a nation!
But if you looked at it, I have a taciturn way of learning, isn’t it? Just like how I learned Boinen, my native tongue, I immersed myself first on other languages before I realized how important my language is. And with this one, I took everything foreign first, before looking closely at our own motherland. And I think there’s nothing wrong with that. Afterall, it could be easily remedied.
Our history are amazingly fun to read about, and just like always, I started making fanarts of them. Guess old habits die hard, lol.
Anyway, Bonifacio is awesome, just saying.
Note: Let me get this out of my system.
The frustrating part of being a Filipino right now is…wala naman ako magagawa eh. Ang kaya ko lang naman gawin para sa bayan ko is magbayad ng tax.
Petition? Rallies? Sharing through social platforms? None of these would equate to anything but muted noises from discussions long passed rehashed from our harrassed history. We are constantly synthesized by drastic issues that are really messed up. China’s forceful claims on our land? Our seas brewing with tension as Japan reinforces its defenses against China’s breach on Japan’s air space? On the other part of the world, the fight of our brothers to the modern age extremists (both from ISIS and Western racial stigma)? Being called “animals” by Trump? Marcos’ grand burial on the Libingan ng mga Bayani? Constant extra-judicial cardboard-justice killings?
…and apparently, the people who gets to speak up for us–to represent the lowly constituents of our humble country, were people like Manny Pacquiao, and Tito Sotto, to name a few.
Somehow, the times I’m using my art to escape reality is increasing. The news and current affairs are messed up and I retaliate by making more sketch dumps. hahah. Gahd I need coffee.
*looks at screen.
One of the weirdest reason a stranger insulted me in the net was because of a crack fanfic I made way back in ff.net.
He/she kinda took it a personal offense that I made the characters of an anime (Inuyasha) act out of character. (I was in highschool! Don’t judge.) And somehow that made my IQ levels questionable? I ended up recommending him/her other titles I found interesting in the site though (same crack genre…hey he/she/it got lost in that side of the internet for a reason.)
The concept of cyber-bullying starts with these minute nasty things. Crude remarks with a statement any twelve-year-old could compose in a second. I mostly laugh it off, since it never gets to me, personally. The idea of people I don’t know, investing hate on my person, that they could only glimpse in a 24 or 32 bits display hardware, is just…weird (to put it on better terms).
Technically, I’ve always been told that I’m oblivious. But most of the time, I just prioritize the people I want to listen with. Selective? Naive? Probably? But unless you’re the one feeding me, aka. my family and friends, your opinions mean shit. I mean, dude, whatever you say about me, I’ve heard worse, and it mostly came from me, lol. I’m so much harsher to myself, afterall I’ve been putting up with my crap longer than anyone I might chance upon the keyboard.
“I’m miss sugar pink liquor, liquor lips. Hit me with your sweet love, steal me with a kiss”
practice practice, so far I failed utilizing the infinite color options of the digitals…
BLTX Event at Anthosia last July 30, 2016 felt like a reunion! So many people I’ve missed and been stupid with.
(Note: Don’t trust me to take decent groufies or selfies or whatever.)
Ash finally sold a CD for her songs, been waiting for it for years (six years in fact)!
I can’t help feeling I’ve let another opportunity down again. I should have worked more for the BLTX event, but all I could come up with were regurgitated art pieces and messy cutouts. I need to do something creative everyday or I’m going to regret this phase of my life…hayts.
Thank you for all the support po, I need to work through this! Kaya ko ‘to!