“the world doesn’t care what eyes you want to see it”
I went back to school. a post-college degree. I haven’t talked about it because it felt like all the people that needed to know, already knew about it.
Like Turow, it amazed me how easy it was for me to assume that I was “somewhat less intelligent than anyone around me.” Never had I felt being stupid to this degree that I am questioning my scholastic performance since high school.
There is hardly any time to sleep, even to draw is a sinful escape from studying. Escapism aside, there seems to be not enough time to read and study all the cases, annotations, legal arguments, and stuff that seems to pop out of nowhere. I’m also relearning English but in a seemingly different language that has its own syntax and vocabulary and punctuated with serious-sounding Latin and maxims. Failure is starting to seem brutally normal but unacceptable; being broke is a constant state that I can’t seem to get out of. And yet, I still think I’ll do all right :’]
Okay, so I’m relearning photoshop. Tagal na din. Been rusting for years now with my pentab that hadn’t seen the light of day. Hayts.
I was trying again for some speed painting, but I can’t seem to get it right. Hopefully I could get at it during this holiday. The layers are killing me, as usual = . =
“Do you know why the unknown is more attracted to mortals than angels? Its because of our imperfection. Our imperfection to destroy. Someway, in a fuck up way, we are the only being who share the unknown’s very nature to destroy which we could mimic more successfully than our myriad attempts at creations.”
-random unearth note between a forgotten mold-smelling book
I’ve once seen a hierarchy on beings on a very-Christian looking drawing. It depicted God as center stage and below him were the angels, then demons, and at the bottom were the mortal man (archaically speaking).
It kinda weirded me out to know we are below demons, the personification of evil and whatnot. But it didn’t surprised me after thinking it over, afterall demons (the Bible version anyway) believes in God’s existence more than humans do.
I’m a day person.
New things are happening so fast. New job. New shift. I stopped studying, started scribbling and just waste away. Mechanical, I confess. Days are nothing but filling up the blanks and sleeping. Probably trying to keep up with ruined biorhythm. They wanted something cheaper than a computer, and so they settled with humans.
Less cost and maintenance, after all, we tend to fix ourselves when we broke.
“Not all stories ends with death, but ours always do.”
I really don’t mind if you think your life is a tragedy. Afterall, you are going to die and you’ll also probably end up watching those important to you die. So go ahead and rant.
“I prefer drawing to talking. Drawing is faster, and leaves less room for lies.”